the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
