I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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