we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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