i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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