We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
