$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
