You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
