Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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