i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I intend to get homeless drunk
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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