EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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