is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so that wasnt chicken after all
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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