Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I intend to get homeless drunk
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
