A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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