if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
