Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize