There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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