Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You smell like stripper and shame
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
