Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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