girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I love you. Go after that dick
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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