I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
