I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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