You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
