he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
