so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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