Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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