So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
