i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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