his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
