Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
