also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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