You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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