Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
