Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
