I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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