was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We need to get me chipped asap
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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