we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
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