Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
