3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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