How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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