my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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