playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
