I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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