I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
