It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
