i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
