They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
