she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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