We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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