For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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