his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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