He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
