Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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