Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize