How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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