Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
