Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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