i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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