If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
