We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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